Help me, I’m poor

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Every three months or so (usually coincided with when I finally muster the courage to look at my bank account), it becomes painstakingly clear that I’m not rich, and the likelihood of me becoming rich any time soon is slim to none.

I knew when I decided to be a teacher that I wouldn’t be able to maintain a lifestyle where I spend my days brunching with socialites and shopping at the expensive end of the Galleria. But a little voice inside my head would ever so often whisper, “marry a rich dude” and so there was always a fleck of hope.

All hope was crushed when I fell for, married, and procreated with a car salesman.
Dammit.
At least the brunch menu at Jack in the Box is delicious…

I admit I am in a constant state of denial about my lack of financial fortitude. I have bouts of shopping binges that ruin any hopes of me ever having a substantial savings account. Stores like Lululemon should never be a place I frequent. What business does a teacher – who also has a child –  have buying  a $120 pair of leggings? But I can’t help my self. Have you seen my ass in those leggings? It’s fantastic.

I can’t wait for this future conversation to go down:

Jackson: Mommy, can I have some money for college?

Me: Sweetie, mommy blew your entire college fund on luxury athletic apparel and mimosas.

lulu
A semester’s worth of college tuition in the form of spandex

But I digress. The worst aspect about my economic condition is that I am surrounded by rich people who literally can’t relate to my suffering. The other day I was at the gym chatting it up with a woman who lives in my neighborhood. Where we live is interesting in the sense that it is a mix of older homes built circa 1950 and huge mansions built circa yesterday. I automatically assume everyone who looks somewhat close to my age (30ish) probably lives in a tiny bungalow like we do, not the towering compounds that have started to take over every block. We all know what happens when people assume:

Me: It’s amazing how quickly these huge houses are being built.

Pretty little blonde gal with perfect teeth: Yeah, these builders do such a great job.

Me: We are looking to move into something bigger, but who can afford these houses? I mean they are ridiculously expensive! Over a million dollars for a house that’s only like three bedrooms!?! Who has that kind of money anyway? Who would ever want to spend that on a house!

PLBGWPT: *blank stare*

Crickets

Crickets

Crickets

Me: (in the tiniest sliver of a whisper) Whoooo does that?

PLBGWPT: Me. *Forces awkward smile and suddenly vanishes*

Me: *dies a little*

But seriously, how in the hell? Are there that many jobs out there that have ginormous salaries? And if there are, why didn’t anyone mention them to me when I proclaimed teaching as my career choice? It would have been nice if someone -anyone – would have said, “hey, teaching is great buuuuut here’s like 175 other jobs that pay ten times as much that you can do.”

In reality, I only know like two people my age who are loaded and they are both useless trust fund babies. Is there a surplus of 30-something trust fund babies populating mansions in the greater Houston area? Man, I would kill a baby deer if I could be a trust fund baby.

At the end of the day, I should count my lucky stars I married someone who actually is wise with money and does a great job of putting food on the table, even if that table isn’t located in a 2.5 million dollar home. Truth be told, if it weren’t for my husband, I’d probably be living under the 610 overpass in a tarp fashioned from Lulu scarves and hoodies.

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4 thoughts on “Help me, I’m poor

  1. I love this. I often wonder what the hell jobs afford such lavish lifestyles, too. Or how 1 family of 4 can appear to be living in the lap of luxury while a seemingly identical family of 4 with same income is drowning! I think there are unknown conspiracies at work. And, for what it’s worth… YOU will never be dull, no matter the size of your bank account!

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  2. I agree girl. I went to law school and I thought I love this and I may make money. I see others who seem to just have it in spades. I missed the class on money management so I will be forever doomed to count my pennies. I do however have a beautiful husband, small bungalow and ALOT of fun adventures with him.

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  3. Help I’m Poor, BIATCH please!(said with a Houston swag, not calling you a bitch as I’m sure your lovely) When I first came across your writing I laughed, said man I know what she’s talking about, and can relate to some of the thoughts and feelings. So yes I get what your saying from your perspective, but I would hopefully like to give you some additional perspective. I can almost guarantee that when you announced your major plenty of people spoke up about the lack of pay for teachers even if they didn’t it’s wildly common knowledge. Also, there is nothing stopping you from going out and interviewing at other jobs to see what else is out there. I’m sure you have plenty of marketable skills.Network with those “rich friends” of yours and if it is that important to you make the move. Car salesmen can make a fine living, of course it too can have slumps, but I’m sure you and your family are well taking care of and driving nice, safe vehicles. Bottom line is you made choices, so choose to be happy with those choices or make moves to get there and stop comparing yourself to others.
    To clump trust fund babies into a category of uselessness, just shows poor character on your part. Sure there are those who act a fool and don’t contribute much to our society, but there are so many more. Many receive their inheritance due to the loss of a parent or both. So would you rather have lost one of them to gain more lulu or a bigger house that will still have yet another big house next to it? I don’t think you would. I know without question my trust fund friends would do anything to have their parent back, even for a moment of time. How many of you or your friends had their parents at your 12birthday, 18th? college? or walk you down the aisle at your wedding. Just because people and their families have been able to prepare for the future or an unfortunate event shouldn’t be belittled. Isn’t that in the long run what you and your family hope to do for your children?
    I’m very familiar with the Houston area so where you live in that “little bungalow” is not anything to look down upon, I just couldn’t help but hear a whiner, a complainer, and just someone who is looking to outside things to fill her. Maybe rather than everyone focusing on the haves and have not’s of clothing, brunches, and big houses we should get back to what is really important. LOVE -The love of friends, siblings, a spouse, and just humanity in general Or if that truly is what you want “pick up your boot straps” and make it happen. Then don’t worry about how or why someone else got to where they got. its your life your story your journey and vice versa.
    If you wanna talk poor(not saying I am, but have less than you so then i must be)…i haven’t even seen or touched the lulu clothes let alone spend money on it when i know i can’t. Let alone afford a $150-250 a month crossfit membership so that my butt can look great in them. Besides all that there are families all over Houston, Texas, the US and lets not even get into the world who are truly poor and struggling. It’s normal to have these thoughts and desires, but you have to check them and gain perspective.
    The best way to be money rich is not spend it on wants when you don’t have it to spend on, to save, invest. I’ve known a couple who the husband made 40000 and she made 30000. They lived off of ones income and saved the others entire paycheck. Within two years they had close to 100,000 dollars that they were then able to invest and make more money off of it and create the life they really wanted.
    You can do and have anything you want if willing to work, sacrifice, be selective when spending money. So don’t worry about others and focus on the beautiful things you have and be grateful because you have lots more than you are giving credit to. Even those rich snobby people have unhappiness you’re just not privy to their struggles. Keep writing as I think it’s a wonderful outlet, but just hope you think things through and maybe focus on the positives in your world.

    Best Regards,

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    1. Let me be clear just in case you run across any future blog posts of mine: author’s purpose = to entertain.
      Giggle a little, maybe even lol. But don’t think this is in any way a serious blog.

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